


Go Spine Go

by Dandyton_Lady



Category: Steam Powered Giraffe
Genre: Family Feels, Inspired by Music
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2019-09-23
Packaged: 2020-10-26 19:10:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20747288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dandyton_Lady/pseuds/Dandyton_Lady
Summary: Wrote this back in the day as being congruent with the album release date.  Thus the male pronouns for Rabbit.





	Go Spine Go

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Go Spine Go](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/522233) by Steam Powered Giraffe. 

It was his birthday soon. One hundred and eighteen years old. They were performing a concert on his birthday, and he thought there could be no better way to celebrate. He was just exiting the Hall of Wires when he caught movement in the corner of his eye. He narrowed his gaze as he saw the tails of Hatchworth's coat just as they vanished around the corner. He listened carefully and heard him knock on a soon-opened door. Rabbit's giggle rose and shushing sounds were cut off by the sound of the door closing. The two of them snickering in private? This never heralded anything but trouble. He snuck down the hall to the door of Rabbit's room and set his ear against it. At first, he only heard shuffling and the sound of instruments being moved about. He wondered why they'd be practicing without him. 

"Every heart needs a beat. Every song could use a verse

If you wanna stand up, then your skeleton, is gonna need ... a Spiii-iiii-iiiine. Oooo, ooo-ooo-ooo

He's charming... debonair... daring and dashing and just when you need him he's there ..."

The Spine stood up with a smile. Were they talking about him? Maybe that was their birthday present. He felt a bit bad eavesdropping, and considered sneaking off, but after a few more moments, he stuck his ear back to the door to listen further. 

"... how much he cares!" Hatchworth sang, joined by Rabbit soon after. "'Cause he's the Spii-iii-iii-iiine. Oooo, ooo-ooo-ooo. Go Spine go, put on a show, do what you do best. Go Spine go, put on a show, you always know best"

The Spine smirked a bit. Well, he did know best most of the time. 

Rabbit swung in on the next verse on his own. "Need help with diction... or home repairs? Sewing or weaving, he'll do your taxes ..."

The Spine stood up, grinning to himself. What a lovely gift! He didn't want to ruin it though, so he sneaked off as quietly as he could away from the door, inwardly beaming at the wonderful present they were creating for him. 

The day of the concert (and his birthday) came swiftly. The concert was halfway over when Rabbit and Hatchworth put their heads together for a moment. Rabbit stepped away, throwing out his arms. "L-l-la-ladies and gentlemen, I want everyone to stand up and give a big hand to The Spine, because today just so happens to be his biiirrrthdaaaay..." Holding the word as applause rose and filled the small venue. "Yes, One Hundred and Eighteen years ago today, Colonel Peter A. Wa-Walter created this ... fine machine you see before you." Rabbit gave a look to the audience that seemed to say 'not that I'm all that impressed myself' and they laughed.

"So... since it is your birthday, Friend-o..." Hatchworth tromped over and slung an arm across his shoulder, forcing The Spine to crouch a bit to accommodate the shorter automaton. "Rabbit and myself... you see, we have written a song just for you."

While The Spine was crouched down, Rabbit stuck a brightly colored pointy birthday hat on his head and snapped the thin elastic band under his chin. "You stand riiiiiight... heeeeeere." Rabbit moved him to stand center stage, adjusting him a little one way, then the other until he was in the proper spot. "And you just enjoy your birthday gift." 

The others took up their instruments and the tune began, poignant and soft. He couldn't help but feel a swell of something like pride as his robotic brethren praised him in song, but after a bit, he began to feel a bit strange just standing there and doing nothing, so when Hatchworth called him charming, he offered his most awesome smile and tipped his hat a bit. 

"Well hello there." 

"Debonair..." Hatchworth crooned.

"And pleased to meet you." The Spine winked in a general way to the audience. 

"Daring and dashing and just when you need him he's there"

The Spine smiled his most engaging smile and joked a bit. "If transportation permits." This was fun! Of course, he didn't know this next part, so he'd have to wing it. He was so enjoying the cloud he was on, he didn't notice the pointed look shared between Rabbit and Hatchworth, nor the wicked sort of angle their smiles took on before Hatchworth went on with the song a moment later. 

"He's got your back..."

The Spine nodded his head once in agreement. "Well sure." 

Hatchworth turned a bit as he continued. "When you pick fights with bears..."

Spine opened his mouth, slightly taken aback and said the first thing that popped in there. "Uhh, I would not advise that." 

Hatchworth lifted his fists before him like an old school boxer. "He'll punch a ferocious beast..."

"No..." The Spine began to protest as Hatchworth turned and clasped his hands under his chin, fluttering his eyes as if succumbing to the weight of his admiration. 

"That's how much, he cares." 

"I...I don't care that much..." he began, trying to get this song back on track somehow. Rabbit slid in as the chorus began. 

"'Cause he's the Spii-iii-iii-iiine. Oooo, ooo-ooo-ooo. Go Spine go, put on a show, do what you do best. Go Spine go, put on a show, you always know best"

Well, it seemed the song was back to where it ought to be and he relaxed a bit. Rabbit held out his hand to the audience in inquiry. "Need help with diction?"

The Spine thought of the most tricky word he could summon at a moment's notice. "Indefatigable." Spoken with a self-congratulatory smile. 

Or home repairs?"

He held an index aloft. "Try the plunger first." 

Swaying faintly, Rabbit seemed to be getting into the song more and more. "Sewing or weaving, he'll do your taxes on a double dare."

"And quadruple your returns." The Spine nodded sagely. 

"Suffering from diarrhea?" Rabbit clenched his stomach and pulled a gassy sort of face.

"Hydration is key" He gave a sort of worried look at Rabbit, hoping this would end here. 

Rabbit stood up straight and held out his arms like one of those girls on Price Is Right when showing off a car, only he was showing off The Spine. "Well he's been there."

Adopting his most 'big brother' tone, he shook his head. "No Rabbit, robots cannot get diarrhea."

"About three times a day..."

Still smiling politely he shook his head toward the audience. "That's not true, folks..." but there was no stopping Rabbit as he held his hands out at his sides, looking from face to face. 

"He sympathizes with your affair."

He could hear a few snickers coming from the crowd and he was getting a little ticked now. "It's impossible for me to have diarrhea!" But then Hatchworth was there on his other side, their arms snaking around his waist as they began to sway from side to side, harmonizing. 

"He's got Di-a-rrheee-heee-eeee-aaaaa. Oooo, ooo-ooo-ooo" 

The Spine's arms were stuck at his sides, pinned there by his siblings as they swayed together, his mind turning on how he was going to get them back for this. The audience, by now, was popping up with more and more pockets of snickering. Rabbit and Hatchworth stepped away together, making him stumble a bit in the sudden absence of swaying, but he recovered quickly. 

"Go Spine go, hold that flow, wait 'till after the show. Go Spine go, not on the floor, this is not our home."

He wanted to stop them right there, explain to the audience that, firstly, he could not get diarrhea, and secondly, if he did somehow acquire the ability to poop, he would most certainly not do so on the floor, at home or anywhere else. He opened his mouth to do just that when Hatchworth sang anew. 

"He doesn't have diarrhea..."

"Thank you Hatchworth" mildly mollified. 

"... but he is a super spy."

Spine frowned a moment. This was better than the diarrhea stuff, but he didn't want to lie to the crowd. "Uh, now hold on a second." He gave a hesitant chuckle. 

"He's got some pretty cool gadgets...."

The Spine nodded once, finding no fault in that particular praise. "Well, that is true..." 

"...to topple governments and the like."

"Oh boy..." He wanted to facepalm, but merely shook his head, muttering under his breath.

Rabbit waggled a finger at Hatchworth. "He's not really a spy..."

"I appreciate that Rabbit." though he couldn't shake the feeling that he was up to something still. 

"...but he does love him some pie."

"Rabbit, robots cannot eat." As if this truly needed to be said. He shook his head toward the audience and rolled his eyes a bit in exasperation. 

"He eats so much pie..." Rabbit went on as if he'd not heard a word out of his mouth. 

The spine just hung his head and threw up his hands. "I...I give up." 

"... have diarrhea the whole live long niiiiiiiight." 

They were back to the diarrhea again? He looked at Rabbit, determined to stop it this time. "No I won't" Singing it a bit, his deep melodious voice drifting like honey across the notes so to the crowd it would like it was part of the song and not a veiled promise to sock Rabbit in the jaw. 

Hatchworth and Rabbit were doing their own little mincing sort of dancing around him. "Yes you will" Hatchworth cut him off and Rabbit chimed in softly. "yes you will, yes you will."

The Spine narrowed his eyes, leveling his gaze at each of them in turn. "No, I won't." 

Rabbit held out his finger at him as if seeking to point something out to him. "If you don't right now..." Hatchworth joining in. "...then you will." 

The Spine didn't want to blow his proverbial stack, but he could feel the steam building up as he got more and more annoyed. "I said that I won't." 

Rabbit set his hands on his hips. "I'm fairly certain you will." Hatchworth emphatically slipping in on the last couple of words, a sad nod of sympathy for The Spine's poo-poo issues.

Frustration boiled over and as he sang, the notes grew higher like a kettle on the boil, though to his credit, The Spine never lost the music. "No I wo-o-o-o-oh oh! Oh! Oh! ohn't!" He cut the last word off with a frown at the others who had the audacity to look both innocent and surprised by his outburst.

"Okay, you got your point across." Hatchworth gave the audience a look of 'what's up with this guy?' as he held up his hands in defense.

"Yeah bro, you need to chill out,bro, because you're ..." and he and Hatchworth slid into the chorus again.

" ...the Spii-iii-iii-iiine. Oooo, ooo-ooo-ooo. Go Spine go, put on a show, do what you do best."

He just stood there, arms crossed over his chest, his face a mask of diminished patience and frustration as they hung their hands over his shoulders and laid their cheeks on his upper arms, trying to get the swaying going again. "Go Spine go, put on a show, you always know best." He was, however, unmoving and they gave up, choosing instead to slink away out of his reach, which proved a good thing when the last lyrics slipped free. 

"Go Spine go, put on a show, bring-a-back-up-pair-of-slacks. Go Spine go, not during the show, that would be really gross." Rabbit and Hatchworth both made a face as if plagued by a sudden stink and the last notes of the song and the rise of laughter and applause from the crowd covered the quiet grind of metal as The Spine grit his teeth. 

"Someday...I'll quit this band." 

Though, as he looked at the grins on his family's faces, he had to smile himself, knowing he never would. Sure, they were pains in his backside but he wouldn't have them any other way.

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this back in the day as being congruent with the album release date. Thus the male pronouns for Rabbit.


End file.
